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This 2020, I am giving myself another chance

This coming year, I am dreaming again.

I am setting goal again, for myself, for my future, for the people I love. I am conquering odds once more, I am setting sail in the unknown. I am going out there, not knowing the possible results, but will just try. This year, I will do the best that I can to make this life worth looking back at after, say five years.

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This year, I am believing again. ​

I am believing in myself that there is greatness inside me, that I am my own sunshine, that I am a work of art. I am believing that I can do the things I’ve always wanted to do. I am believing that despite all my imperfections and frailties, I am able. This coming year, I am believing again in people, that there are people with good intentions, with kind hearts. That there are people who actually want to love me for all that I am. I am believing that there are true people who will stay by my side amidst the storm, through the tough days and even the
easy ones. I am believing that people can be authentic and gracious, just like how I believe that I can be as well. That together, we can make it easier to live this life.

This year, I am going to be honest with myself, with people.

Enough with the disguises, facades and the lies, if I’m not okay, I’m going to say
it. If I don’t like something, I am going to be vocal about it. I am going to be honest with life, with what I want, with what I feel – who knows, maybe life will be amiable enough to actually give it to me. I am going to be brutally true, with the people I keep, with the people I love, with my actions and my thoughts.

This year, I am forgiving myself.

For all my shortcomings, for all my mistakes, for all the things I did and regret doing. I am forgiving myself for all the people and relationships I allow to slip away, for all the people I took for granted. I am forgiving myself for all the times I dreamed and failed, the moments I strived and was not enough. I am forgiving myself for all the bad choices I’ve made, for my past, for the part of me that was ugly and horrible.

This year, I am letting myself flourish and just be who I want to be.

Away from all my own expectations. I am letting myself fly without controlling who I should be or who I should love. I am allowing myself the time and space I need in order to become. I am letting myself go. I am letting it take risks, climb mountains, jump leaps, overcome waves.

This year, I am recognizing myself, finally.

Because for what it’s worth, after everything that happened, I deserve an applause. Not because I was great, but simply because I was able to set foot into this new year. Simply because I didn’t let the waves drown me. Simply because I was stronger than my struggles, I was bolder than my battles, I was fiercer than my faults.

And I think it’s time you do the exact same thing.

 

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